His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
