I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
