dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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