Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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