i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
