So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
