im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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