OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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