I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
