hell yes lets make some ravioli
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
