I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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