Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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