It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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