Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
