I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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