Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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