My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
FUCK WHALES
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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