she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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