you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
