Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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