u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
