love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
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