There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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