i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
