Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
