May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
It's not a walk of shame if you run
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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