I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
