I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
