Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
