Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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