I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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