yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
