Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
So vagazzling was a success
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
