Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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