I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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