my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
