That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
