he shaved USA in his pubs
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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