Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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