I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
