seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
