Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
