Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Randomize
