ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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