how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
