is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
