Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
