I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
