what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
