you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Drake has all the answers
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
