Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
